How to report paid links: I just vomit-burped

Wow, Matt, you sure know how to clear a room. (And I'm referring to Matt Cutts, not me.)

One minute I'm in New York having a blast at SES and the next it's reported to me that I might as well kill myself because the "paid link business" has been officially shut-down forever. What a buzz kill. From bar-hopping in NYC to talking about some dude that works for Google. I just got a soft-on.

I guess I'll talk about New York and how great it was later. Now, let's get super serious and talk about Matt Cutts and his majesties new orders... (insert sarcasm here)

Report paid links, huh? You want people to do what? HAA!!! Come on, dude! What a joke.

Who wants to do that? Have you really had that many people asking you to put something like this together? Pardon me if I question that, but I'm not a Buttcutt or whatever they call themselves.

Can I ask what's in it for the tattle-tales? Better rankings? Higher AdSense payout? Free radio spots? Gimme something! Sad truth is, people want shit if they're gonna sell other people out for no reason. Oh wait, there is one HUGE reason that I haven't mentioned yet. And I'm sure Matt and those boys at Google already have contingencies to deal with this potential catastrophe.

What reason, you ask? Why, it's "competitive advantage," of course!

I can hear it now, "Sure, Matty, I know some people buying/selling links. They're kicking my ass in the SERPs! Bring 'em down, brotha! Go, Matt, Go!! Google rules!!"

This is a disaster waiting to happen. For some people, anyway.

People adapt and if this "paid link reporting" decides to grow legs and go somewhere, then people will be gaming the "new" system too. What, so now you have to buy links to knock off your competitors? Nice. It'll happen, I know it. And I think its way worse that way.

We'll have in-house people calling us up freakin' out. "Dude, I need to buy $2 grand in shit links for www.mycompetition.com. I've got budget-approval." Then they turn around and report them. HAA!! Kinda funny...

Is it wrong, then, that I actually think this is all pretty great? Let's be honest here. The world hasn't ended. I've been almost exclusively entrenched in the gray world of linking (full-time) for more than 3 years now and this is the most attention I've ever seen the industry get. And any pub is good pub. Yes, even this right now.

Don't worry, people. These are good times.

Next post: SES NYC